Meet The Man Inside The Nicolas Cage Costume
Star Fix has an exclusive interview with the man who has enchanted audiences for the last 30 years playing the delightfully wacky, oversized puppet of Nicolas Cage.
This is by far the best thing I have seen in a long, long, long time.
The #2 Nominate Awards! Celebrating the people who nominate the people.
Darcy! - This tenacious young lady got her friend Adams blog nominated for an award even though Adam only occasionally posts cryptic notes about his roommate and cat pictures. Darcy thought Adam was a little down after his latest break up and that being nominated could totally turn things around for her BFF.
Frank - got Sloan’s blog nominated for a prestigious award even though her blog is exactly the same as 3.2 million other 20 yr old girls. The occasional racy GPOY, fashion posts, and sometimes a late nite bitch session about her bf Tyler (who Frank hates) Even though Sloan has blocked Frank, age 38, Frank will make her famous and win her affection and no longer be relegated to creepy anonymous asks.
Joseph - Joseph isn’t a real person but an alias for Mike, an aspiring writer. Joseph was able to nominate Mike, IE. himself, without seeming like a total crazed needy narcissist. Luckily for Mike/Joesph is that he’s young, sorta good looking, and all the young girls love his smoldering over-serious writer persona. He can’t write for shit, but luckily no one reads writing on the internet.
Sloan - She used to sell her boyfriends demo tapes in front of the VFW at all age shows. (and everywhere else) She is now on the internet and sells crafts on Etsy. She helped get her latest boyfriend, Tyler, get into an internet indie film festival and nominated for best foreign whispercore vignette.
Any other nominations?
Hahaha!
Apparently I Wrote This Whole Thing About the Movie Thor and Saved It in a Folder Labeled “Drafty Bullsthit [sic], Etc.” and Forgot All About It Until I Went File-Purging Last Night. So of Course it Belongs on the Internet. This is a Title.
(snip…go read it!)
So while he’s on earth, Thor meets Renowned Brunettes Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings, and chooses the more famous one to kiss, even though Kat Dennings is obviously funnier and better at kissing. I’m just saying, we’ve all seen her boobs on the internet, conclusions can be drawn. I like Natalie Portman a lot because of the movie Beautiful Girls, which always made me believe that some day I could win the hearts of the grown-ass men I was in love with when I was in junior high (what up, science teachers, youth group leaders, Jeffrey at the Video Store where did you go please come back to me, etc.), but I like Kat Dennings more because she seems like a normal girl with whom I could share a couple bottles of wine and maybe she’d let me brush her hair and feel how soft her skin is OR WHATEVER.
But back to THOR, ODINSON. I don’t know who the actor is and I’m not going to look it up because who gives a Nordic shit, the point is, he looks like the He-Man action figure my older brother used to have, only bearded. Pathetically, pale bearded. You know me, internet, I’ve been lovin’ beards since way before beards were cool, but a pale blonde beard on a ginormous Viking from Space? Gag me with a magical hammer. That level of muscle on a human OR alien-god is very unappealing to me personally, but I guess I can see where other people might be into it, like for instance tiny little Natalie Portman, who can’t help herself, probably because Thor is the MC Skat Kat to her Paula Abdul.
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Adam’s Important Bum Beer Reviews
Beer: Lost Lake Pilsner
Cost: $3.99/6 pack
Aroma: gasoline with a hint of car tire. It also had some exotic smells, like Peruvian cat piss.
Taste: Did you ever try and mix rubbing alcohol and water in middle school in hopes that you’d get fucking tanked?
Aftertaste: Licking sandpaper.
Hangover: Fucking brutal. I think this crap fucked me up for at least a whole day.
Graphic Design: Amazing, it’s like a fake Coors light.
Is it actually “naturally brewed”?: Yes, in the sense that it was brewed by humans and not robots
Suggested food pairings: Half eaten taco found in trashcan, sketchy ass 39 cent hamburger from a street vendor, hot pockets
Would I drink it again: probably
#Aluminauty. Chile… iCan’t.
LOOK AT THIS FOOL.
Not only is it real, it’s also lighter than steel.
Ha.
The Style Council, Come to Milton Keynes
For Crowth
